theJOURNAL

Faites un effort...

2007-02-10T19:20:05Z

It's been a while since I've actually sat down and spent some time in the Bible.

I know that's horrible. When I'm up at Berry I really don't go to church. It's not that I don't like church, I think church is a wonderful part of a Christian's life. I just haven't found a church in Rome that I like and that I feel like I can be part of. I don't think that going to church is something that is required of a Christian and I think that the main purpose of it is to have the fellowship and coming together of believers. I get alot of that without formal church services on campus already. I also don't want to be stuck here in Rome and being a part of a church in Rome would just help the already black-hole like gravitational pull Rome, Georgia has on people.

But on my own, I used to be a lot better, but I have been quite slack with my communal time with God. Outside of the prayer that happens a couple of times a week (when I remember) there isn't much communal time with Him and it's been good to have a change.

I'm trying quite hard now to begin to accept the Micah and Rachel situation that is happening around my appartment. There were many things I read today that were indicating of my need to forgive and treat them with brotherly love (φιλαδελφία) and such.

I really felt like I was making progress. It was difficult, however, when they were blaring music out of Micah's room and Rachel was using my bathroom for curling her hair/doing her makeup/what-have-you for me to concentrate on how to be good and accept them.

I think God has a very interesting sense of humour.

mkl @ 2007-02-03T13:09:00

2007-02-03T18:09:28Z

I'm sick and tired of this. Seriously.

***WARNING: This entry is full of whinging and complaining....YOU WERE FOREWARNED***

So, it's Saturday. I woke up around 11am and messed around in my room for a little bit and around noon went out to go make some coffee and remembered I had some muffin mix in the pantry and so I started to make some of those. Micah--my roommate--came in and started getting some breakfast for himself. As I'm flipping through TV channels in the next room, Drew--my other roommate--comes in from work and sees the coffee and asks if there's enough for him. Micah tells him there's only enough for three cups and the third cup is Rachel's.

Rachel is Micah's girlfriend. She's really a nice girl and I don't have a problem with her. I don't think I would be friends with her if she wasn't friends with Micah just because our personalities clash too much among other things, but that's ok.

The problem I am having is that she is over here every day. Seriously, every day. She comes over Saturday mornings to make breakfast. She comes over weekday evenings to make Micah dinner while he's still at work. Seriously, the woman is here more than Micah is. In fact, I am not sure when the last time I did NOT see her in the appartment at some point during the day. And even so, I don't think it would bother me that much if it wasn't for their relationship. I don't have a problem when Drew's girlfriend comes over (which is fairly often also--though not nearly as much as Rachel). The problem I have is with their relationship.

I knew I had a problem before...but it took me a long time and some discussion with my parents, interestingly enough, to figure out what it was. Basically it's threefold:

a) Rachel is very disapproving of me. Our personalities clash, and that's OK, I don't claim to be able to be friends with everyone. But I constantly get looks or see exchanged looks between Micah and Rachel about something I said or did that is quite obnoxious and disapproving. The least you could do is do it on your own and pretend you actually think I'm a worthy human being.

b) Micah and Rachel's relationship was one that started out with them not supposed to be in a relationship (because of certain beliefs Rachel had and Rachel's parent's express disapproval of them being in a relationship at this point in their lives). Regardless, they continued to act as if they were in a relationship and it continued to grow when the 'relationship' officially didn't exist between them outside of anything platonic. When her parents finally gave them permission to be in a relationship (and Rachel also decided she didn't agree with her parents' idea of what a relatinoship should be)

c) You know how there are those couples that you don't quite feel comfortable with. Like you're always the third wheel. Like the two people in the relatinoship no longer can see outside of themselves? Yeah, well...this is one of those couples.

All this to say that I miss my old friend Micah who no longer exists, I don't think. His personality has even changed and it's like the two personalities of Rachel and Micah have infused into the personality of Machel but in two seperate bodies.

I think I'd be OK with this but they also are here all the time and I WANT MY FREAKING APPARTMENT BACK. The place that I live should be comfortable. It should be somewhere I can relax and be myself. It should not be somewhere that I feel as if *I* am the intruder.

All I wanted to do today was eat some muffins, drink some coffee, and do some reading for my thesis on the couch in the living room.

Now, Machel are making chocoalte chip banana pancakes in the kitchen and will probably spend all afternoon in there.

So I'm holed up in my room--like always-- as they galavant around the appartment and be all touchy feely.

Damnit, I know that you're friends grow and change and I have grown and changed myself. And I'm willing to acccept that my friendship with Micah may just be over now. OK, that's fine. But this is not just his appartment. This is my appartment and Drew's appartment as well. And I want to be freaking comfortable in my own appartment!!!

Oi.

/end rant

On a side note, maybe I should just walk around naked one morning when she comes by to make breakfast. I think that might make her think twice before being here all the time.

Rant, rant, rant

2007-01-10T21:34:17Z

First day back and seriously, WTF, mate?

It's like all the stress and crap that I felt when I left has just fallen back on my shoulders as I have returned. Maybe it's just the first day. I think it's going to be better as the semester goes on. But, my God, I am ready for a change...

Maybe it's the fact that I started teaching the Advanced Placement French class which I thought I would love...I just can't get them to speak...or care...and there's only three of them, and one is out with a stomach virus...ugh....what is it with people and their disregard for the languages? Do they not understand how incredibly important and vital language is to our lives and cultural well being?

/rant

anyway, it's also kind of weird that I'm not working on the project I was working on at work for so long anymore. I turned it over to someone else since I'm at school for the time being. It is bad that I'm afraid that the full-time worker that I turned it over to is going to ruin my work or something even though he is actually in charge of that section of the company.

ok, so that was a second rant...whatever....I'm done ranting for now...

I still haven't sent off for grad school. I have like two things to do and I can't bring myself to go about doing that. Oi.

Also, my best friend is able to go to college this semester (awesome!)

But he can't live on campus and has to commute an hour each day every day and his classes vary from 9am to 2pm and are not back-to-back and he can't switch them to be closer together (suck!)

Basically, it's just a blah time this mid-january thing.

I need to go shopping. I currently only have four bottles of wine, two boxes of couscous, and coffee to my name.

What kind of bloody college student am I?

Ready for the ascent....

Update...because I can't think of a good title.

2007-01-07T20:44:50Z

I woke up this morning and thought to myself, as I lie awake in bed not wanting to get out from under my comfortable comforter, that I have to go back to school on Tuesday and then the next day will be the beginning of my last semester of school.

Wow.

I mean, you know it's coming, but when you actually think about it and realise that this is the last time you will have to deal with worrying about classes and getting the right requirements and what your GPA is and everything. You realise that this will be the last four months of your life that you can walk down the hall to go visit your friends. The last 18 weeks that you are living the life of a college student.

Seriously. Wow.

I'm incredibly excited about these next and last few months that I will be able to spend in college. But when life after college looks so...unknown...and blank...it's something I really don't know what I'm going to do or where I'm going to be. Which, as everyone knows, is scary. The unknown is scary.

But I'm ready for it, I'm ready to step out into this unknown....

Even though it is still freaking scary.

In other news, I'm hoping to go to Seattle over the High School Spring Break near the end of March. Which, I'm very excited about. Maybe by then I'll know if I'm going to go to grad school or not. Kathryn is trying to convince me to stay here for a year or so before going to school. I feel rather torn, I want to stay down in the ATL area because of Michael and Kathryn and Becca and Cole. Outside of them, I probably won't see too many other people I know. I want to stay in the Southeast because of my family. But I have this stupid urge to move out to the Pacific Northwest. Why? I don't know. I think my mom would kill me, it's not that far, but it is relatively far. You can't get out there in one day of driving like we can for everyone else in my family.

For the next seven weeks I won't be easily accessible from the hours of 7am to 5pm....I'll be teaching French to some crazy high schoolers. Just FYI. I think I'm going to love teaching them though. :D

Hols

2006-12-21T04:32:42Z

So it's that time of year again. It's time to break out the christmas decorations, spend money on presents for the fam and spend time with the fam also. So that's what I've been doing. I worked the past 5 workdays getting some money (yay for like 400!) and as of super-early tomorrow, I'll be driving down to Saint Petersburg, Florida to spend some time with the fam, then up to Lake City, FL to spend time with different fam, then back to the grind of work (I need the money, I am sooooo poor right now, it's not even funny). And finally, I've got to figure out if I'll be going up to Washington State for a little visit. It seems my dad had some frequent flier miles from using US Air back in like the late '80s. Apparently back then they didn't have an expiration date on miles, but they have decided that was a dumb idea and they are going to expire if he doesn't use them. I'm slowly coercing him to let me use them to fly up to Seattle or Spokane and spend some time up with the Washington Gang. Probably fly into Spokane, drive into Seattle and stay for a little while, then back to Spokane to hang out and fly away. I think I might try and get a flight through Las Vegas since I'll most likely be taking some sort of late night flight becaues they are cheaper. It would be awesome to see the lights above Vegas as you are taking off from an airplane. The McCarran Airport is right next to the strip; I think it'd be awesome. Anyway, I'd have to go through Vegas, Phoenix, or Philadelphia to go to Seattle. I think I'd prefer Vegas, then Phoenix and Philadelphia as my last choice.

Alright now I'm blabbering. I'm off to bed. See everyone later.

mkl @ 2006-12-07T15:44:00

2006-12-07T20:44:15Z

I've been trying to find new methods of procrastinating. This is a really old thing that I haven't seen in a while. So I filled it out, and stuff. You're supposed to bold all the ones you've done. I've done like 70 of them. That's not too bad. Although, there are a lot of them I don't want to do. I suggest all of you do this too. That's part of what make it fun. Yes.

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink

02. Swam with wild dolphins

03. Climbed a mountain

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid

06. Held a tarantula.

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone

08. Said 'I love you' and meant it

09. Hugged a tree

10. Done a striptease

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise

15. Seen the Northern Lights

16. Gone to a huge sports game

17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa

18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables

19. Touched an iceberg

20. Slept under the stars

21. Changed a baby's diaper

22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon

23. Watched a meteor shower

24. Gotten drunk on cheap champagne

25. Given more than you can afford to charity

26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment

28. Had a food fight

29. Bet on a winning horse

30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill

31. Asked out a stranger

32. Had a snowball fight

33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier

34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can

35. Held a lamb

36. Enacted a favorite fantasy

37. Taken a midnight skinny dip

38. Taken an ice cold bath

39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar

40. Seen a total eclipse

41. Ridden a roller coaster

42. Hit a home run

43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days

44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking

45. Adopted an accent for an entire day

46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment

48. Had two hard drives for your computer

49. Visited all 50 states

50. Loved your job for all accounts

51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced

52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

53. Had amazing friends

54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country

55. Watched wild whales

56. Stolen a sign

57. Backpacked in Europe

58. Taken a road-trip

59. Rock climbing

60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice

61. Midnight walk on the beach

62. Sky diving

63. Visited Ireland

64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually dating

65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them

66. Visited Japan

67. Benchpressed your own weight

68. Milked a cow

69. Alphabetized your records/cds

70. Pretended to be a superhero

71. Sung karaoke

72. Lounged around in bed all day

73. Posed nude in front of strangers

74. Scuba diving

75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye

76. Kissed in the rain

77. Played in the mud

78. Played in the rain

79. Gone to a drive-in theater.

80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it

81. Visited the Great Wall of China

82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog

83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better

84. Started a business

85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken

86. Toured ancient sites

87. Taken a martial arts class

88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman

89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight

90. Gotten married

91. Been in a movie

92. Crashed a party

93. Liked someone you shouldn't have

94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy

95. Gotten divorced

96. Had sex at your workplace

97. Gone without food for 5 days

98. Made cookies from scratch

99. Won first prize in a costume contest

100. Ridden a gondola in Venice

101. Gotten a tattoo

102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on (and off)

103. Rafted the Snake River

104. Been on television news programs

105. Got flowers for no reason

106. Masturbated in a public place

107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything

108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug

109. Performed on stage

110. Been to Las Vegas

111. Recorded music

112. Eaten shark

113. Had a one-night stand

114. Gone to Thailand

115. Seen Siouxsie live

116. Bought a house

117. Been in a combat zone

118. Buried one/both of your parents

119. Shaved or waxed your body hair

120. Been on a cruise ship

121. Spoken more than one language fluently

122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone

123. Bounced a check

124. Performed in Rocky Horror

125. Read - and understood - your credit report

126. Raised children

127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy

128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour

129. Created and named your own constellation of stars

130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country

131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did

132. Called or written your Congress person

133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

134. ...more than once? - More than thrice?

135. Walked the Golden GateBridge

136. Sang loud in the car; didn't stop when you knew someone was looking

137. Had an abortion or your female partner did

138. Had plastic surgery

139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.

140. Wrote articles for a large publication

141. Lost over 50 pounds

142. Held someone while they were having a flashback

143. Piloted an airplane

144. Pet a stingray

145. Broken someone's heart

146. Helped an animal give birth

147. Been fired or laid off from a job

148. Won money on a T.V. game show

149. Broken a bone

150. Killed a human being

151. Gone on an African photo safari

152. Ridden a motorcycle

153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph

154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced

155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol

156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild

157. Ridden a horse

158. Had major surgery

159. Had sex on a moving train

160. Had a snake as a pet

161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon

162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing

163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours

164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states

165. Visited all 7 continents

166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days

167. Eaten kangaroo meat

168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground

169. Been a sperm or egg donor

170. Eaten sushi

171. Had your picture in the newspaper.

172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime

173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about

174. Gotten someone fired for their actions

175. Gone back to school

176. Parasailed

177. Changed your name

178. Petted a cockroach

179. Eaten fried green tomatoes

180. Read The Iliad (parts)

181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read him/her

182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen

183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you

184. Taught yourself an art from scratch

185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

186. Apologized to someone long after inflicting the hurt

187. Skipped all your school reunions (so far…)

188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

189. Been elected to public office

190. Written your own computer language

191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream

192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care

193. Built your own PC from parts (with my dad…)

194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you

195. Had a booth at a street fair

196. Dyed your hair

197. Been a DJ

198. Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal/Xanga/Etc.

199. Written your own role playing game

200. Been arrested

La descente

2006-11-09T20:52:58Z

Merde. Qu'est-ce qui se passe? Je croyais que tout commençait à s'améliorer. La vie est une montagne russe...tout le monde le sait...mais j'en ai marre de la descente...

Did you ever have one of those days that you just feel like you need to break something? Hurm...yeah.

Et j'en ai marre de se plaindre. merde.

Deça et delà, pareil à une feuille morte...

2006-11-08T21:43:43Z

I love this weather.

Crisp, cool, autumn wind with leaves blowing about. Not too hot and not too cold. It's great sit-around-and-do-nothing-but-enjoy-it weather.

Unfortunately, I shouldn't be sitting around doing nothing. I should be polishing up my French essay and Statement of Purpose for Grad School. I should be filling out required forms for TAships and such. I should be doing my Record of Learning for Education.

Instead I am relaxing after racquetball and enjoying the weather. It feels nice.

I got to see Michael yesterday when he came up to register for classes next semester. He's going to propose to his girlfriend in December. It's really cool. I'm very glad for both him and Kathryn. Unfortunately it's going to be about a year and a half to two years before they can get married.

I can't wait for Thanksgiving. Almost all of the stress of grad school will be over. There will be very little stress for the rest of my school work. I will be able to spend time with my family and friends in this wonderful autumn weather. And I can not feel guilty about sitting-around-and-doing-nothing-but-enjoying-it. :)

Break before Breakdown

2006-11-06T19:46:21Z

Finally. Some semblance of a break.

I have nothing due until Thanksgiving. So I'm focusing on graduate school applications and essays and such right now. I've already written a preliminary application (however rough it may be). I'm gonna get it checked out by the Career Development Centre on Wednesday and I've already gotten some feedback on my French Essay that I have to submit.

It'll be nice to have a relatively relaxing week. :)

Almost a month til the end of the semester. That makes me exceedingly happy. Oh, and there's Thanksgiving break...good to look forward to.

I'm also now addicted to firefly. Crap. I do not need another addiction. I am two episodes away from watching all the eps and I have the movie to watch...I started Saturday. How pathetic am I.

I also rocked that philo exam this morning. Score: Me-1, Philosophy-0. Booyah..take that Aristotle!

Oh, and I'm alive...so that's Me-2, Philosophy-0.

I'm racking them up here.

Speaking of racking...I've got to go grab my racket/racquet for racquetball.

Racquetball

2006-11-03T22:34:23Z

I really like racquetball. I'm horrible at it. Out of the four games with Micah I played today I only won one. And I'm the one taking the class. However, I accidentally hit Micah today with the ball...so maybe it's just because I felt bad about it that I let him win that game and the rest of them (...yeah...let's go with that).

It went something like this...

Also, Just for the record,
The weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of:
A. Indifference or
B. Disinterest in what the critics say

10 points to the person who knows where that came from.

GRE and other life thoughts.

2006-11-03T05:46:18Z

I took the GRE today. I went home Wednesday after two hours of a good game of racquetball (i'm not any better at my game...but it's still alot of fun) and hung out with my mom, had a bit of wine and dinner, played around with my new phone (free upgrades=w00t), and then went to bed.

I woke up this morning, had some breakfast, and after a bit of panicking because the clocks at home are all set to different times varying, in at times, twenty minutes, headed to midtown to take the exam. It's a really lengthy exam that consists of two essays, a quantitative part, and a verbal part. The results of the essays I won't get until a week or two from now. The other two parts, since everything is done through a computer nowadays, I got my scores at the end of the exam. I did not do too terribly poorly, but not as well as I would have liked. I scored a 1010 total. 1010 on a scale of 400-1600...that's roughly 10 more than half of them correnctly. Now that I've done that little bit of calculation, it's not even as good as I thought they were. It's very similar to the SAT...but definitely not as easy. I got a 1300 on the SAT. The sad part is that UW expects a 1200 on the exam....most of the rest of the schools I am applying to only expect about 1000...but I'm bairly over the limit there. I really don't want to take this test again (it's bloody expensive, not to mention tedious and stress-inducing), but I think I might should try to take it again.

It doesn't help that one of my friends who has been planning to go to grad school for ages decided to finally put it off for two years or so in order to get some real job experience (which is understandable for what profession she wants to go into)...and I'm thinking that I really may not want to be in school anymore. I'm sick of school now as it is.

I need a break. Perhaps I can just go be a bum for a year...well, I've been told the position of bum has been filled...so perhaps just work in some menial job until I get stuck in a rut and end up like those people I used to work with when I was in high school: working 40 hours a week for about 10$/hr, unmarried, not dating, dorky as all get-out, and quite disturbingly at ease with their situation.

Holy crap, I can't let that happen to me.

At least I have a new phone....

mkl @ 2006-10-30T17:22:00

2006-10-30T22:38:47Z

I just got back from doing a whole bunch of errands:

I met with the registrar to set up my graduation.
I registered for my final semester of undergraduate classes.
I sent off three of the six applications for graduate studies. UW, UT, and SC now all have my application. I need to wait for UF, UGA, and UIUC until I have an essay down. So now it's time to start writing an essay.

I also finally got a haircut. It always feels good to get a haircut...I don't know why. Something about the fall wind going through you're freshly cut hair...it just feels cool.

Tonight I've got loads of work to do on top of the already too much grad school stress. Also, two of my friends told me they bombed the GRE...I'm not looking forward to this Thursday when I have to take it.

I need a change. I think I'm going to change my room around. Maybe that'll help. I need something fresh. Something new.

I also am far too poor. Donations for food are accepted anytime. I think this week all I'm going to be able to eat is the chicken my parents bought me and salad. Yep...chicken and salad for the rest of the week. w00t. :|

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All The World's A Stage...

2006-10-29T05:47:40Z

So, I've been thinking about this for a while and I talked to a few of my friends and I think I've figured out something about me...at least the me as of recently.

Because I am no longer at home and I'm on my own, I no longer am a brother or a son. I mean, yes, I am still my parents' child and I am still my brother's sibling...but that role in my life isn't a daily role...it's not a physical present role in my life right now.

Because the majority of my friends that I have made at college either no longer attend my college and have moved away or are so overwhelmed by their school work/theses/projects/fiancé(e)s/signifigant others. Which, I'm not complaining about, that's what they need to and are supposed to be doing. So, the role of a friend isn't really something I'm actively doing either.

So, I find myself asking...what roles in life do I have right now? Well, I have...student...and that's about it.

My life was being defined as that of a student and that's it. It was kinda crazy. I didn't like that I no longer was a friend, I no longer was a son, I no longer was a boyfriend, I no longer was an employee, I was only a student.

I spent my time that was not consumed by doing student-related things, thinking about future roles I might have and how I would act in those roles. Like where I may go to Grad School, where I would live and what kind of job I may have, etc. I didn't want to focus on the idea that my life right now is defined as being only a student and nothing more.

It was kinda depressing...until I realised that, actually, I had more than just that one role. I also was a member of the Church and I don't mean like the church that you go to on Sundays, but as in the children of God--the bride of Christ--and so perhaps I should focus my efforts not so much on future roles I may have (which I have been doing recently) but on the current role that I had forgotten I was even a part of.

So, that's my goal, to focus on this role more than before and not just let it become something that I take for granted...and hopefully it'll continue as I begin to add other roles in my life.

Well, we'll see.

--Mathématiques

mkl @ 2006-10-26T23:41:00

2006-10-27T03:53:54Z

When I was a kid and I visited my mom's parents' house, I would sometimes go over to the neighbour's house just to say "hi." I was a really outgoing kid and often would just go to neighbours' houses to say hi and ask see if anyone wanted to play. My grandparents' neighbours were this old couple named George and Margaret. I remember vividly that every time I would go over to see George I would get an oatmeal cream pie. They were a really cool couple (even though they were older than my grandparents) and I would visit them pretty much every time I was at my grandparents' house until my grandparents moved. It's been several years since I was informed that George died. I found out today that Margaret had passed on.

What was interesting was that my aunt told me that their grandchildren remember me. These people that I maybe spent 20 days maximum out of my entire life with (and not even the full 24 hours of those days) have grandchildren that remember me. Somehow, I've been a part of that family's life.

That's amazing.

How many other lives do I not even think about that I have been a part of. How has that changed their life...or my own? Just to think about all the different people I've interacted with in my life...and how we've had an effect on each other...it's an incredible thing.

OK, enough "It's A Wonderful Life"-esque talk. Back to tending to my illness and ignoring the inevitable amount of schoolwork that is looming overhead.

mkl @ 2006-10-23T16:41:00

2006-10-23T21:06:20Z

So Racquetball is cool. I'm a fan. Today was my first real class day for my Racquetball class. We already had the "read the packet on how to play racquetball" class and I missed the first day of class because I was in Nebraksa...I don't really know what I'm doing and I'm definitely not even close to good. In fact, i'm below beginner. If there was a class between me and a bunch of infants in strollers and each of them was given a racquet, I'm fairly certain that they would beat me and have a collective laughing and pointing session. Stupid babies.

It is quite fun though. I wish there were other people on campus that would want to play with me....*hint*hint*

Umm...on a different note, the editor of my college's literary magazine wants to put my work in their magazine. The editor asked me to submit some of the stuff on my dA account, so I did....I normally don't submit my stuff, but she convinced me. Out of the six I submitted they were struggling to choose between three of them. They finally chose this one:

Makes me kinda happy.

I'm going home this weekend for the first time since I left home. It's crazy. I feel more and more like a stranger there. I mean, my family doesn't feel strange...just the house. It's like...I don't quite belong there. Hurm...I guess life eventually is like that.

Also, it's hard to eat yoghurt with a fork...just for future reference. Micah needs to wash the spoons more often....

umm...forsooth!

2006-10-23T01:50:36Z

Blech. Not feeling well today...feeling a bit crook, i've got a stomache ache It's one of those Sundays where I think I'd be content just to stay in my bed where it's warm because it's getting cold outside (it's probably going to freeze tonight...i'm not liking this one week it's 80 degrees, next week it's 30 weather).

I'm currently watching the Discovery Channel and they have this thing on Australia...it makes me miss that country. I've got to go back at some point, maybe live there for a little bit? That'd be cool...

Anyway, I've got a relatively nice week of school. No exams, two cancelled spanish classes, nothing due. It's going to go well. :)

Alright, I really don't have much more to say. I need some sort of thing to talk about, and currently I'm out of thoughts. Plus, MSN told me that I talk too much because I had too much in my message history and had to archive some of it, so apparently I need to be more brief. :$

OK, I'm outtie.

--Matteo

mkl @ 2006-10-20T14:19:00

2006-10-20T18:45:10Z

Today and yesterday have been wonderful weather-wise. Here in Northwest Georgia we're starting to get some changes in leaf colour throughout the campus and the weather has been cool and kinda cloudy/rainy. It makes me think of Seattle weather...that sort of dry rain that just kinda lingers in the air. Autumn is by far my favourite season.

I just sent off my requests for letters of recommendation for Grad School. The final list of where I am applying is as follows:

-Uni. Washington - Seattle
-Uni. Illinois - Urbana-Champaign
-Uni. Florida - Gainseville
-Uni. Georgia - Athens
-Uni. Texas - Austin
-Uni. South Carolina - Columbia

I'm really rooting for Seattle, it has the best program for what I want to do, and it's in Seattle...seriously, it would be hard to get better. The only problem with UIUC is that it's in the middle of freaking NOWHERE, although it's only about two hours from Chicago, Indianapolis, and Saint Louis...so that's not that bad. The other four are no good as far as climate goes and I'm kinda sick of the South for right now. Florida and Texas are just interesting places in and of themselves...I suppose I should just wait to see where I get accepted to. Keep your fingers crossed for UW, though. :)

On a totally different subject, I'm in a bit of a quandary. So, I only have about 6 more months of Uni left and it just seems relatively futile if I'm going to be moving anywhere from 5 to 50 hours away after that to even contemplate the idea of a relationship with anyone here at Uni. So any sort of cool person that I meet and my mind says, 'hey, you should get to know her,' I just tell myself 'no, it's dumb and futile...' among other things. However, that shouldn't be a good reason, right? Regardless, I can't get my mind wrapped around the idea of not thinking about potential future relationships. Maybe because I'm a 21 year old guy...I dunno....I think I'm done talking about that.

Now it's off to watching some of the fun comedy stuff Jamie sent me (woo Eddie Izzard).

--Super-Manu

P.S. I found out today that the library is AWESOME. They have so many awesome videos (they have COUPLING on dvd to check out for free...how cool is that?) current, old, foreign...tons of videos...plus a bunch of books on cool subjects i would want to read. How come I am just now finding this out? I've got 6 months to really use the library....I need to start soon, lol...

Nebraska

2006-10-18T18:39:02Z

So Thursday, after my Spanish class, I left with Micah, Rachel, and Jenni for our fall break in Nebraska. Why Nebraska, you might ask? Well, it has an abundance of wonderful things...like...umm...plains...and...corn...and...soybeans...and...cows...

ok, so the real reason I went was probably three-fold.

a) I love a good road trip, I can't resist that.
b) I've never been to Nebraska (41st state I've now visited-*check*)
c) Meeting Rachel's family and having an excuse to visit somewhere new and meeting new people. If you know me, travelling and meeting new people is like the coolest thing ever. How could I turn this down?

We originally were planning on making the 15ish hour drive in one day, but Micah and Rachel's parents insisted (as in, they are not going if we do not do this...talk about parental control...) that we stay overnight at a hotel (at the parents' expense, thankfully), so the first night we stayed at Mount Vernon, Ill. Can we say Po-dunk? Yes, yes, I think we can. Not to mention I got stopped by a county police officer for going over the speed limit. It's the first time I've ever been stopped. I'm glad he only gave me a warning. Good to know the midwest hasn't changed much from when I was there. Although, they are super strict on their driving in illinois. Unlike people from Georgia, Tennessee, or Missouri...seriously...people from those three states are speed-demons.

Anyway, after staying in Po-dunk we got some lunch in Columbia, Mo. at a Steak & Shake. Man, I miss Steak & Shake. I haven't been to one in ages. I wish we had one up here in Rome, Ga. It'd get so much business....

We eventually arrived in Nebraska after leaving Missouri and going through about fifteen minutes of Iowa (w00t! Go Iowa! We've got...corn...and well, ok, so that's pretty much it...but I was born there...) When we got out and visited the family it was crazy. All of Rachel's sisters (of which she has three) were surrounding her hugging her for a good 10-15 minutes. Then we all finally got introduced. I really liked Rachel's mom, she's sassy and appreciates good grammar and corny jokes...how could you go wrong? I also finally got to meet Audrey (Audge/Ange--16), Erica (whose middle name is Todd (very cool!!) and is sometimes called E.T.--14), and Merrill (Janey...don't ask me why--12). The family is seriously addicted to giving nicknames to people. In fact, Micah and I came away with new nicknames. Well, Micah's always been called Mighty Micah (if always means since last year) and I am now known as Super-Manu (pronounced: su-pair ma-noo). It's a long story.

We spent the days doing some farmwork (why do I *always* build a fence when I am on a farm?), drank some unpasteurized "straight from the utter" cowmilk (it's actually pretty good and relatively undistinguishable from normal 2%), ate some delicious food (oh man...the steak......*drools*), rode horses (not really my thing, but still fun), and played a lot of games.

I was fairly nervous that her family wouldn't like me. Granted, it didn't matter if they liked me or not, because, it's not like I'll be seeing much of them for the rest of my life--unlike Micah, who may want to marry Rachel and pretty much *needs* her family to like him. However, I think they did like me; sure I talk too much, and I really didn't get to know them all on a deep level, but I had fun with them all: Audrey and the card games/sudokus, Erica and Jungle Speed, and Merrill and teaching her french "I Je gagne!!!"

I also went to their church, which was a very different kind of church. It's basically where a bunch of people come together and when someone feels led to say something or to sing something, they do and other people join in if/when they feel led. It was interesting; it's something I have never done or seen before. Then, at the end, this lady comes and talks to the four of us thanking us for coming and stuff and then after shaking my hand she says "and I know you have some questions and I just want you to know that God won't lead you into something that he doesn't want you to do".

Can you say...wha?

I'm just standing there, thanking the lady for her kind words...and wondering, what problems/questions do I have? which ones are she referring to? Is this lady full of crap or somehow divinely inspired? Needless to say, after that lady talked to me, I did have a bunch of questions, but I'm not sure that's what she was referring to, lol.

All in all, it was a pretty good trip. I drove probably 26 of the 30 hours of round-trip driving. Yep, our 2081 mile trip is over. I love road trips. :D

School, however, I am not loving so much. I need another break...please?

Also, parts of Tennessee and Missouri in the fall are beautiful. Seriously. Just beautiful. (Pictures to come soon...as soon as i figure out how to do that on LJ)

άμαρτία

2006-10-09T14:24:16Z

Today in Philosophy class we talked about Neo-Aristotelianism and we got on the topic of the greek word άμαρτία (hamartia). This is the word for sin that you find in the original Greek New Testament. I had already learned this last year when I took Κοινή Greek, however the reason we brought it up was because Aristotle uses it in the original sense. You see, hamartia was used to indicate that one had "missed the mark" such as in archery. So the term that Jesus used to mention sin is this one.

The reason I bring it up is because it makes you rethink the idea of sin. It makes you think that sin is not a list of things that you should not do, but instead, the act of NOT doing the thing you should do. I thought that was interesting.

Life's Not About Wasting...

2006-10-07T21:55:29Z

Welcome back to the Curious Adventures of El Matteo. It's time to rehash some of the musings that have been going through La Cabesa del Matteo. The El Matteo would like to invite you to sit back, relax, grab some popcorn, and enjoy.

I started thinking about this last semester during my Biol class "Great Neglected Diseases." We went to a local cemetery and were told to record birth and death dates for 20 men and 20 women for each decade from 1880-1980. Then we, as a class, were going to compile our information and come up with a graph to show the ages of people when they died and mark out the anomolies that caused drops in age of death such as when various plagues or wars broke out. Also, to note that after certain pharmaceutical breakthroughs (polio and flu vaccines, for example) how the age at death tended to increase dramatically.

At the last turn of the century, around the early 1900s the average life expectancy was about 33 or so. Thirty-three. Nowadays, thirty-three is not even considered middle-aged yet. It's amazing what we've been able to do with the technology and knowledge we've had today. So, within all of this incredible advancement in our culture and the ability to pretty much guarantee that we're going to live in our seventies, something just confuses me.

Do twenty-one year olds in 2006 act the same as twenty-one year olds did in 1906? I'm 21 and if I knew that if I was lucky I would make it to forty, I would be going through a crazy past-due mid-life crisis. I wouldn't be putting off fathering children and doing so many other important things that I would hope to do before I die. Half of my life would already be over! Seriously.

So, this brings me to my main thought. It's like if we were to just take a few points of interest in someone's life (e.g. birth, school, work, marriage, children, grandchildren, retirement, death) in 1906, all of these things would happen at a--what we would consider a--quick pace. Most people think that by the time they are middle-aged they would like to have children. So, for people in 1906, they would be having children at about...my age. Grandchildren are pretty much not even in the picture (during our lifetimes), and everything else that we fit into our 70+ -year lifespan they squished down into half the time. That, I find just amazing.

What interests me, I suppose, is the fact that as life expectancy has increased, the time we spend to do things also increases. I would have thought that people would consider the extra years as a gift that they can use to do more things in their lives instead of procrastinating or putting things off for later. We're told to 'enjoy life while we're young' and as people are given a longer life expectancy, the time to spend 'enjoying life while you're young' increases, but tends to cause a sense of laziness within us all. We know what was acheived from people who by 20 were middle-aged, imagine what we could acheive if we were to not postpone parts of our lives until later?

Imagine the maturity level of everyone if they thought they would live to 40 and ended up living to 80. Imagine the work ethic and what they could do.

Why do people who get married at twenty get looked down at for getting married 'so young'? That wasn't that weird 50 years ago. Or, God forbid, have children before they are thirty, there are many people that find that "reckless" and "immature". I think it's a wonderful thing, people are able to spend more time with their children and pass of more wisdom and knowledge off to their children and grandchildren. For people who spend their entire lives working on their "life's work" they'll have even more time to do it.

I'm not sure if I'm quite articulating myself as well as I would like to. There are a few thoughts about this that are not coming out on paper (er...in type) that I would have liked them to come out. This also is excessively long and if you made it to the end, kudos for you.

mkl @ 2006-10-06T14:58:00

2006-10-06T19:02:12Z

I went to bed at 4am. Tossed and turned all three hours until 7am, terrified I would not make it to my Philosophy class at 9am and take the test I had studied for the night before. By 7:25, I gave up and got dressed and went to class and studied a bit more before the test. I think the test went ok. Man, I'm tired though. I took a 'nap' until about 2pm. I'm not sleeping very well recently. The beginning of this week I was having great sleep; now, not so much. Not sure what's wrong.

It's Mountain Day Weekend. Tomorrow I get to run down a giant hill with one of my last remaining friends here at Uni that's been with me through it all since the beginning. My how time changes in four years.

Then it's study study study for the triple midterm of DEATH.

Had some crazy philosophical thoughts and theological discussions last night while studying for the test and talking with a friend. It's good to have those once in a while. Keeps the old noodle working...

eep.

2006-10-05T16:07:39Z

I definitely just realised my schedule for the next week and had a slight freak out moment:

Today: Spanish Chapter 3 Test
Friday: Philosophy Test
Monday: First Aid Final
Monday: Instructional Management Mid-term
Monday: Spanish Mid-term
Tuesday: Teaching and two hours of psychology and possible psychology midterm

At least by that point I should be ok. And then I have Fall Break (yay nebraska....wow, never thought I'd say that) and back to the grind until Thanksgiving.

Also, holy crap, I registered for the GRE...now I'm really actually seriously contemplating grad school and there's no turning back! Now I just have to get off my butt and write two essays.

On the upside, my stomach doesn't hurt anymore :D

mkl @ 2006-10-04T23:51:00

2006-10-05T03:51:39Z

Drinking a lovely glass of pinot noir and watching Casablanca is about the best way to avoid studying for my examen de español mañana. I'm not too worried about it really. What worries me more is the Philosophy test I have friday. I suppose the wine will help with that as well, actually. I mean, seriously. Philosophers drank inebriating beverages, that could have led to some of the discoveries of Freidrich Neitzche and René Descartes! See, this is quality study time!

Hurm...so I think the best life ever would be if I could live out near Seattle for a while and then get a vinyard with Michael somewhere and create our own wine while him and Kat got married and lived somewhere close by and I got married to....well, whoever my wife is going to be...and then we were both teaching at some high school or college somewhere. I think that'd be about the best thing ever.

Kat and Michael said they always want me to be a part of their lives. I think that is just awesome. I was talking to Becca and I realised that there are probably about three people I'll keep in touch with after college is over: Michael, Becca, and Micah. Other than that, I mean, I love the rest of my friends, but we're not that close. And I would really be quite sad if I never heard from those three again. I'll be sad about others, but those three people have made my college experience what it is. They've been my friends and confidantes throughout this all.

Oohh! This is the best part of the movie! When they're singing La Marseillaise over the german song. Seriously, best part. Well, that and the end. Actually, this whole movie is just awesome.

OK, I really have nothing better to say. I felt pretty crap the beginning of this week. I got to know the bathroom a little more intimately than I had ever planned. But that's what happens when you're sick. Also, I only have one class Friday. So that's awesome. Next week is going to be crazy, though. Two midterms on Monday, double psych on Tuesday plus teaching. At least Fall break is coming soon! Oh, and racquetball starts soon. That'll be interesting.

OK, I'm starting to ramble. Off I go, (into the wild blue yonder).

La fin de la semana

2006-10-02T00:15:31Z

So, life is crazy.

This weekend was pretty uneventful. I seem to say that most weekends nowadays. Friday night I hung out with Becca which is good because it's been a long time coming. We really don't get to see each other much these days. We reminisced about things and caught each other up with our respective lives. We even watched some Chip & Dale: Rescue Rangers that she had on DVD. Talk about some crazy nostalgic times talking about old tv shows and with old friends. I really should hang out with her more. I think that she is one of three people from college that I will most definitely have to keep up with throughout my life. I was talking with Michael's girlfriend/future-fiancée Kat earlier and she was saying that they decided that they really want to always be in touch with me and stuff. Of course, I also think that Becca, Michael and I should move to Seattle and go to UW for our respective masters/doctors degrees. Then Michael and I can run a vinyard and have our own wine and teach physics and foreign languages at some school somewhere. Wouldn't that be awesome? I think so.

Saturday, I made fish and chips for me, Micah and Rachel. They had never had fish and chips before, which just astounds me. Seriously, how can people go 19-21 years out of their life without ever eating fish and chips. It's a shame. So we remedied that and I spent the majority of Saturday talking to Maggie (despite being a weirdo eastcoaster), watching college football, and drinking coffee.

The coffee was kind of a mistake; six cups in eight hours turns out to cause an interesting night's sleep. I went to bed at 3am, woke up at 4, 5, 7, 8, 10, and noon. I don't actually remember any sleeping, I just remember constantly looking at the clock and seeing the new times on the alarm clock. Today, I really haven't done much of anything. I don't have really any homework, just some studying I need to do for midterms at the end of this week and beginning of next week.

I'm interested to see how it's going to be two weeks from now when I'm in Nebraska with Micah, Rachel, and Jenni. It's definitely a different vibe in the group this semester than there was last semester. Craziness.

OK, now I'm starting to rant, I better go before this ends up being paragraphs of boring nothingness.

Change

2006-09-29T04:31:02Z

Atlantic Ocean from Lubec, Maine

I definitely came on here with an incredible idea of something to write about. And now that I'm here I'm at a complete loss as to what I was going to write. So just enjoy this lovely picture I took from my trip up in Maine.

Right, so I'm definitely at the point in my life where I want to continue my life. This era of my life is done. I was talking to my cooperating teacher and she was mentioning the fact that she's also just at a point in her life where she thinks she's ready for a change. So now she's going to quit teaching high school French and go to seminary. So, I think I'm also at a point where I'm ready for a change. I'm ready for it.

But is it ready for me?

And can I really have that much change at this point in my life? I've still got a year of college to go through...

*sigh*